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By Rob Simpson
By Rob Simpson
Norway, my home country, if ever there was a group of women I know well its here. I’ve lived in Oslo for the past 3 years now and learnt a few things during my stay. Firstly, things work entirely different in this country.
If you’re a foreigner, I assume this is going to be your first time to Norway, and if you didn’t find this guide, you would be in for a tough ride.
But luckily, it is not impossible to woo these blonde bombshells. A little insight into how things are done in the Norwegian way, and you are good to go! If you’re travelling from a country outside of Scandinavia, you are in for a culture shock. Norwegian women behave very differently to girls from America, and are a world apart from French or Spanish girls. The key lies in finding those differences and turning them to your advantage. Let’s take a deeper look into some do’s and don’ts to help you get lucky in Norway.
Usually, I start my articles with some tips on how to approach the girls, what to talk about, etc. But this is not the most important part of gaming Norwegian girls; the most important part is logistics.
Understanding which clubs or pubs to go to at what time is key, and finding an afterparty will give you the best shot at getting your Norwegian flag 😊
Lets take a look at what will be covered in this guide:
Now that you have the structure of the guide, let's get to the fun part: the girls.
Ok guys, you may have heard of Swedish blondes, and how they are the hottest in Scandinavia, but I disagree. Norwegian girls win hands down in my book.
They have great bodies, beautiful blonde hair, although sometimes, as shown in the picture on the right, they dye their hair to make it lighter.
Norwegian girls are also known for having full lips, and great asses, as they spend alot of time hiking and skiing.
The Norwegians have a thing for outdoor settings. Due to the climate, it is mostly skiing, hiking or climbing but if you do any one of those things passionately, do work it into your conversation. Your date might end up starting on a hiking trail.
Unlike American girls who prefer to to indulge in the material world, and can be impressed by dinners, fancy hotels, cars etc, this is not going to work on Norwegian girls. The country is extremely weahtly and everyone is well-off. There is also a bunch of rules called Janteloven, which places emphasis on equality and pushes down personal achievement and success...#communism but I digress.Through the history, Swedish girls were always different than girls from other countries, both personality-wise, and looks-wise. Make sure you check them out and if you’re lucky, you wouldn’t be doing all that alone.
You may think that in one of the cleanest, most 1st world countries, you will be safe from the dreaded STDs, but you'd be wrong. Norway has one of the highest rates of Chlamydia in Europe. In 2018, Seven Eleven launched a very controversial, and highly provocative ad campaign. Here is the poster that made me laugh out loud when I first saw it!
If you want to watch the hilarious full video advert, that launched on TV, check it here.
Although gender equality is ever-present in Norway, just like in Sweden, girls can be shy and don't make the first move. At least not until a few drinks but more on that later.
Norway is one of the most liberal and progressive countries in the world and their women are well educated, successful and independent. Most men will misinterpret this as intimidating, but you should see it as an opportunity. However, do not try any direct openers, indirect game is best. You want to ask for the time, directions, where a good coffee shop is, but don't go up to a girl and tell her she is beautiful, she won't know how to respond!
The clubs close early (more on that later) and it is extremely expensive for food, drinks, beer, you name it. So pre-drinking, and after-parties are very important. It is such a significant part of the culture that the Norwegians even have special words for it. Predrinking is called “vorspiel” and afterparties or after-drinking is called “nagspiel”.
Alchohol is expensive in Norway, so when you land, make sure you max out your customs allowance (if you plan to drink). Find out more about the rules and regulations of how much alcohol you can by on duty-free here.
A very important point is that when you go out in Norway, and especially Oslo, you will have trouble dealing with big social circles, but stay until the bitter end because later on the big groups start to break down and you will have plenty of opportunities to approach single or pairs of girls.
The bars and club all close at 3 AM, so is it really asking that much to stay to the end. Especially in the summer when it's already becoming light again! The picture below was taken at 3:30 am during the summer.
So if you arrived on Oslo on a Monday or Tuesday, you can still try the places mentioned below, but expect things to be a bit quiet. For the best chance of getting some action, visit from Wednesday and make sure you stay the weekend. With that being said, let's take a look at some of the best clubs and bars to visit in Oslo.
For Wednesday, and pretty much any other day weekday, I recommend Chair. One of the best gin bars in Europe, and probably the best bar in Oslo period. This is my hangout from 10-12 pm, seating is limited so don’t come too late as it gets really busy!
Things start to liven up as the weekend gets closer. If you want the traditional, bar at the top, party in the bottom style of club, check out Horgan’s. It gets really full, and you will compete with a lot of dudes, but fortunately they are kinda shy and lack game. Norwegian guys rely mostly on their social circle, or last round style game to get by. Like I mentioned earlier, stay to the end and good things will happen.
Check out Ryes, a retro-style bar that had a laid-back crowd. Situated in Grünerløkka, the hipster area of Oslo, you will find no problems finding other bars if you don’t like the scene in Ryes. Scout out Thorvald Meyers Gate and pick your spot.
This is the main party night in Norway, so just go out, you will find action guaranteed.
Black guys can check out a club called Blå, it is pumping even during the daytime, and has reggae music which seemed to attract chocoholic Norwegian girls.
Everybody has heard about the chilly Norwegian weather and how cold it tends to get. Well, it isn’t the only thing that’s cold there.
Do not expect Norwegian girls to be open to your approaches during the daytime, they are shy, formal and not very easy to impress with money or foreigner status.
They have standards that surpass most of the women from other countries which is why you need to prepare yourself for the worst.
The biggest obstacle you will face is the fact that no-one talks to each other, outside of a pre-arranged social situation.
Norwegians are straightforward in most manners of their life. If you’re trying to beat around the bush, act cute and look for opportunities to start a conversation, you may want to reconsider. With Norwegian women, assume less and do more. If you believe that there is a girl across the table who’s constantly looking at you, make a move before she does but more importantly, be ready to face straight rejections as well. For a lot of European women, the go-to phrase is “can we just stay friends” while Norwegian ladies like to keep it to a simple ‘No.’ Do not worry about being uncertain; she will let you know in very clear terms.
Don’t stop smiling though. In Norway, people are overly friendly, and they expect this from you as well. Being aloof or negging too much (does anyone still use that term...lol) will make any group of girls feel uncomfortable and you will get the silent stares, as they wait for you to leave. Instead, let the girls do the most of the talking. If you followed my recommendation from the Nightgame section, you should be focussing your attention mainly on girls who have drinks in their hands, or who you have seen to be drinking. Almost everyone in Norway drinks and this is usually when they open a lot.
Picture this scenario:
It’s really late at night, and the alcohol has been flowing, you spot a Norwegian girl you like. Typically my advice will be to go right up to her, and determine if she is out without male company and interested in you.
However, in this country, it wouldn’t necessarily bad if you keep staring at her for a longer period compared to another culture. Yes, in parts of the world it is creepy and "stalkerish". In Norway however, it considered as something perfectly romantic, but if you do not follow up with a move, you’re in trouble. Timing is the key though.
So stare to determine interest, if she smiles or locks your gaze, go up to her a few moments later.
Oslo is known as the hookup capital of the world. I can attest to this. Once you bring a girl home to your apartment, Remember to end the night off close to your home, so the last club or afterparty you go should be close to your apartment. Since the last hurdle to the hookup is convincing the girl to get one last drink at your place. If she comes, its on.
Once you get home, just relax and enjoy the process. Be a man, and she will be a woman, and nature will take its course.
All Norwegians are extremely proud of their country; and rightly so! They love it when someone praises them for their Skiing ability, or for how beautiful the nature is. Talk about how you like that everything is so fair, and that the standard of living is amazing.
On the other hand, if you’re caught ridiculing the local people, the language or anything Norwegian for that matter, then that is serious business you don’t want to get into. They do not have a sense of humor regarding their own country so the joke would probably be on yourself. That also sheds light on something far more serious, you don't have to talk about the war, do you? But if you’re from Britain or America, why not? It's certainly a good idea to be on the same side.
Visiting Norway is an amazing experience, it is truly one of the most beautiful countries in the world, with down to earth, sexy, and sexually liberated women. Don't worry too much about daygame, use online dating apps (like Tinder) and make sure you make the most of Wednesday to Saturday nights, because just like in Finland, that's when the drinking really starts!
Oh yeah and to wrap this guide up....remember to wrap it up! You don't want to add to Norway's already impressive Chlamydia stat line.
Good luck, and make sure to leave a comment if you plan to visit Oslo and maybe we can grab a drink at Chair.