Okay, you made it all the way to Sweden – the scenery is breathtaking, and the cinnamon rolls are divine. The girls?
You have no idea – you can’t seem to learn the ropes of dating in Sweden.
It’s all a bit too confusing for you – who pays what, who hugs who, and why you can’t seem to get a date in the first place. All of this is even harder when you see all those beautiful, tall, blonde Swedish girls at every corner.
Don’t worry; you won’t die all sad and lonely - this guide on how to date Swedish women will be the best wingman you ever had! It takes time and patience to get to the relationship stage but it’s worth it.
In this guide, we are going to look at:
Now that you have the structure of the guide, let's get to the fun part: the girls.
Similar to French people, Swedish women (and Swedes, in general) don't date in a usual Western way. However, there is a big difference between the meaning of a word “date” in France and Sweden. While French girls like to go out for a glass of wine or a dinner as a first intimate meet-up, Swedes are more into so-called fikas.
When you meet a Swedish girl and you want to ask her out, invite her to fika, which is a daytime meeting for a coffee at a cafe.
If you think that fika is some sorts of date, you're not wrong. However, Swedish girls don't like to make this an official date, even if you've already had a brief romance at a club or at your place.
Being on some sorts of date while both of you pretend that it's not a date might sound awkward for foreigners, but that's just the way Swedes do.
If everything's going good, after a couple of fikas, you're going to text each other more often. Now you can invite her to a dinner or a drink but still don't call it a date. It's a dinner or drinks.
Swedish women are sometimes shy and socially awkward. That's why calling her out for a “date” can be too serious for her. If you invite her to fika, she will be more relaxed and comfortable. She will think of fika as a more casual way of getting to know someone without the pressure of doing something more romantic or sexual.
While many nations greet with a handshake or a kiss or two, Swedes will greet you with a hug.
Everything other than hug will make her uncomfortable and creep her out a little bit. This might be awkward to you but just lean in, wrap your arms around her and separate. Hugs will become something ordinary, even for you.
Through the history, Swedish girls were always different than girls from other countries, both personality-wise, and looks-wise.
Even if we look all the way back to the Viking era, Swedish women were independent, strong-willed and this is something that remains the same today.
Sweden is one of those countries which strongly supports gender-equality and gender-neutrality and that also includes dates… I mean fikas.
Swedish girls don't expect you to pay for them. You can try but in most cases, you're going to get a negative answer. Always be prepared to split the bill, that's just how Swedes do.
However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy her flowers or any other present. You should but after a couple of fikas. Remember, Swedish girls don’t like it too personal on the first couple of meet-ups.
You’re going to be in a serious problem if you do fikas and flirt with multiple people at the same time, especially if you're doing dates and activities with the girl regularly for some time.
All of this probably seems weird to you since Swedish girls don't date. Even if you're not official or you didn't say that you're in a relationship, you shouldn't do fikas with girls that are not your friends. I know that they are drop dead gorgeous but one Swedish blonde at the time boys!
Although gender equality is ever-present in Sweden, Swedish girls can be shy and don't make the first move. At least not until a few drinks but more on that later.
Sweden is one of the most liberal and progressive countries in the world and their women are well educated, successful and independent. Most men will misinterpret this as untouchable but it’s not. They like foreigners, meeting new people and learn more about their culture, history, and lifestyle.
That doesn’t mean that they’ll always be like this. I’ve been in a couple of situations during my trip where the girl was the one who approached me. It might seem weird at first but you’ll get used to it.
If you make an eye contact with a Swedish girl that you like and she didn’t approach you, go for it and ask her out for a fika. They are really open-minded and as long as you’re not too persuasive.
I've told you some basics about dating in Sweden that probably sound unusual and weird to you. Now, it’s time to go more into details that will help you with Swedish girls even more.
Let’s start with where to meet a Swedish girl. You’ve finally arrived in Stockholm but you don't know where to meet them. Is there a bigger chance to meet a Swedish girl during the night out? Or maybe it's better to try a day game? It all depends on your intentions.
As I've previously mentioned, Swedish girls are shy and they need drinks in order to loosen up. If you plan on flirting with a Swedish girl in the club, it is best to wait for a while before you approach her. Moreover, Swedes depends on social circles in order to meet new people so meeting the whole crew and then flirt is maybe better than waiting for her to be isolated from them.
Many Swedish girls think that it is too forward when somebody offers them a drink or ask them to dance. That’s why I think it is better to get on the dance floor and try to start flirting by joining her for a dance without asking.
Ok, you’ve finally approached her. Now what?
Swedish girls are feminist so don’t partake in any conversation about what women can or can’t do. They are also more formal so don’t take it personally if she doesn’t respond to you the way you’ve expected, even if you had a nice conversation with her.
Try to keep topics as general and neutral as possible. It may lead to a quiet conversation in the beginning but if you’re polite and with a few drinks, she will open up more if she’s interested in you. If that’s the case there are two possibilities - either you’re going to make out and take her to bed or call her out for a fika.
Stockholm has a great nightlife that offers something for everyone. After all, this is a city of open-minded, beautiful people so you shouldn’t expect less. These are some of my top picks for best bars and clubs in Stockholm.
This is a go-to place if you plan on visiting Stockholm in the summer. I think that there is not a single younger hipster Stockholmer who’s not anticipating the opening of this club.
Located under the Skanstull bridge, this is a place where you’re going to drink beer and dance the night away up until early morning. It is a really popular place so you’re going to meet a lot of new, cool people.
Under Bron is actually a winter variant of the Trädgården club. When the weather starts to get cold, the summer club moves to a wooden house Under Bron, which actually means Under the Bridge in Swedish.
This is a place where top Swedish and international DJs warms people with great music and atmosphere during the cold, winter days.
If you’re more into electronic music, Slakthuset is your go-to place in Stockholm. Located in the old district of slaughterhouses, this club has three different areas and plays some of the best electronic music in Stockholm. During the summer, they open a terrace that is 600 square meters big!!!
If you like Berlin’s nightlife, this is the closest you will get in Stockholm.
What about a day game? Although it is possible to meet a Swedish woman during the day, at some park or in the supermarket, it happens less often than meeting through mutual friends or during the night out. If this happens, the next step is, you guessed it… fika.
Patience is the key to Swedish girls heart… or her private parts. In both cases, you need to take things slower than usual. Even if you’ve already been intimate with the girl, that doesn’t mean that you’re skipping the ‘’fika stage’’.
Girls from Sweden are more open-minded about their sexuality and they don’t regret one night stands. However, you still have a long way to go if you want to make her your girlfriend. Even when you’re in a relationship with a Swedish woman, it will take a while before she opens up.
Swedish girls like to take things slower than usual even if you’ve been intimate and had sex more than once. They are maybe cold but they’re not as cold as German girls. They just like to take things slowly in order to have a romance that will be long-standing and strong, not because they are a cold nation who doesn’t like to get too personal.
Dating apps are quite popular in Sweden and many Swedish girls use them for fikas and ocasional hook-ups.
Tinder is one of the, if not the most popular dating app in Sweden. Although it is often seen as a hunting ground for hookups, it is also possible to find a girl for something more than a one night stand.
If you're looking for something more serious there's a well marketed site called International Cupid, it's a site specifically designed for international dating. You can expect all the girls on there to speak English, which is always a plus.
Dating a Swedish girl might seem weird and unusual to you at first but it’s all worth it. It might take a while to get to the official girlfriend-boyfriend stage but once you hear the famous 3 words, rest assure that you have a girl that is really into you.
Having a Swedish girlfriend is like having the best from both worlds - she will be your lover and a life companion. She will respect your independence and success and she expects from you to do this too.
It is not easy to get to this stage with a Swedish woman. Many people are impatient and never get to this stage. That is probably one of the reasons why they have low marriage and relationship rate in comparison to other Scandinavian and European countries.
However, even if you’re an impatient tourist who doesn’t have time for this, don’t worry. Swedish girls are open-minded so you’re probably going to find a hook up during your visit.
Like I mentioned before, if you're looking for something more serious, check out the dating site International Cupid.
I hope that with this text you’ve learned more about dating in Sweden so you know what to expect when you travel there.